Sigh

Talk about depressing. I was doing good,, then BAM. it hurts all over again. Sitting approximately one foot from me right now, i cant breathe. I'm not gonna cry. Right? No, that's weak. Man, why can't i breathe? Why does he do this to me...? Why do i feel so helpless.. Like no matter what when he comes back into my life in any way i drop all my progress for him. I'm hopeless and this hurts too much.. God, take my pain away please..