I wonder if our love is strong enough.

And all i can say is.. maybe tomorrow will be better.
The ring he gave me, the promise ring that meant absolutely nothing.. I put it in it's case when he broke up with me. I kept the case open on a display and i told myself that i wouldn't close it until i decided to give up. Today i closed the case. I guess no matter how bad it's going to hurt, i just gotta forget about it. I said i'd do whatever he wanted, and he want's me to move on.. of course, he asked me to do the only thing i can't do, but i can act like it. I'm a good actor, and acting happy isn't really that hard. Even though EVERYONE laughs at me when i tell them i'm okay. Absolutely, no one believes me when i say i'm okay. Clearly i'm not. I've never felt so sick to my stomach before. Fifth hour today. The fucking worse hour of my life. He tells me he cares, but the way he acts, and the lies he tells me all the time, i don't even believe it. You wouldn't hurt some one you really love just so you're happy. Impossible. But in order for him to be happy, i have to hurt like hell. I'll accept it, i always accept everything. I'm just tired of crying, tired of having my heart beat out of my chest, tired of not being able to breathe, tired of caring, tired of loving with no love in return, tired of trying, when it gets me no where. I'm just tired of everything, but i can't stop because i want him in my life. Forever. He's not coming back, but i bet i'll wait. I'd drop everything for this kid, who walked away from me. It's wrong isn't it? It's stupid isn't it? But that's what i am, pathetic and stupid.

I hate waiting around for something that will never happen, but i can't help myself. I just love him too much and it sucks. Fucking sucks so bad.

I'm so shaken up, i can't function. Noelle had to take my pencils away from me in class today, lol. I no longer pay attention, i just draw. I draw my heart away, i draw my feelings, i draw what i want, what i don't want. I draw anything. It was so funny. Love you Noelle (;

anyways, i'm giving up.
That's what you wanted.
And you always get what you want.
No matter how bad it hurts.
I want you to be happy.
& if that means me leaving.
Then i'll do it.

This is the last time i say it.
I love you.
Always will.