Muah!

My dad come's home in TWO DAYS! More than likely he'll be home tomorrow night, how exciting! :) Oh, and hopefully my dear boyfriend too!<3 That also means Christmas is in a few days. I really want to switch to AT&T and get the iphone 4, but i don't know if that's going to happen anymore :( Which is whatever, that just means i'll get it in February and i'm sure i can wait that long. Even if i don't want too. Well, i don't have much i want to say, well i do, but people actually read this. Don't want drama.

Man, it's been a long time.

I've been through some serious stuff since i've last visted my blog! (:
I'm still the same person though, just a little older, with the same problems.

Yesterday was thanksgiving, so i just want to let you know somethings i am DEFINITELY thankful for. I am thankful for my family, my boyfriend Bryce, My best friend Meagan, Tori & Kristen, my lovely role model and cousin Megan, and all of my other friends. My family is definitely crazy. After making some round trips yesterday, I was nooot ready for Black Friday. I had to drive forty minutes to Bryce's dad's house, then all the way back home to go to his Nannie's, then back to my house. It was a busy day. I have some pictures posted from Thanksgiving for you to check out!


I have a lot of school work that i was suppose to get done this break, and it's Friday and i haven't even started! I'm not one to really care anymore. I'm just ready to get out of there and get on with my life! A lot of people wonder how me and Bryce are, and i just want to let you know that we are still going STRONG<3 He's such a great person, and i'm so lucky and thankful to have him! He graduates, unfortunately in about six months. So i'm trying to take in all the time i can with him before he leaves for college, which is less than a year away.. :/ Definitely not my favorite subject to talk about.



On the bright side, i've been doing better. I know last time, i was very depressed and down, but lately i've been dealing with ONLY my problems and moving away from everyone elses. Also, because people take my advice for granted, i no longer give it to anyone, unless they absolutely deserve it. It's so much better and keeps a lot of stress off of me. Zayda, my god child, is going to be here in two months! So i'm kind of on top of my game. She's going to be my life, i swear! I'm suppose to get a job soon too. I'm very very nervous. First jobs make me sick :( But i need one, so i'm going for it. I don't exactly know what else to write, so if you have any questions, you can leave them at; www.formspring.me/laurengtfo

I check it daily.

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

I'm feeling like a star

So only three more days till Destin. I can't wait to get away from here.
I just seen Eclipse. I fucking love twilight, so suck it haters(;

Just prayed to a god that i don't believe in

I have the life everyone wants. The boyfriend, the friends, the parents, the money, the looks, the brain. Somehow, i've managed to have a better life that most people, and yet i'm still depressed as ever.

I'm going to start with the boyfriend. Bryce Monteaux and I have been back together as a couple for almost seven months since the breakup in February 2009. Things were amazing in the beginning, and now they are just weird. We don't hang out much, we don't talk much, and we don't do anything much. It's a set up for a DISASTER, but i tell people it's the relationship anyone could ever dream of. I miss him, i miss how it used to be and i hate how it's so much different now.

My friends. They're good. I don't see my best friend often, but better than nothing. I hang out with Meagan and Tori all the time. Meagan comes home from Hawaii sooon then we're heading to Destin!

My parents. They're always fighting. ALWAYS. My dad leaves in a week or so to pull straight time for two months... can you tell times are bad? I mean he's been home for like 4-5-6 weeks and it's time for him to go back to work, but two months is a long time without a dad.

The money. There is none. My family is broke. End of story.

The looks. I must be attractive to have people fake me online. To have people want to be me all the time and to have black freaks whistling at me in the mall and saying shit they shouldn't say. But, i don't take that for granted. I'm glad I don't look like i used to. I'm glad i got better looking, but seriously, i don't think i'm the best looking person around.

The brain. Screw school. Screw being smart.









I need a life. A real life.

Oh yes!

I never go on "BIG" vacations. I mean, i've traveled to Nashville, Myrtle Beach, & Disney World with my school, but i've never went on vacation during the summer with my friends. Besides Kayla in sixth grade. We went to Gulf shores, Alabama. Anyways, My friend Meagan invited me to go to Destin on July fifth. The only place i've ever been to in Florida was Pensacola for a band competition. Which was fun enough. The best part about this though is that my other two friends Kristen & Tori are leaving on July third to go to Destin too. So, me, meagan, kristen, and tori will all be in destin at once, how fun! Only 19 days to go.

I'm free fallin'

I'm not a smart person. I mean besides in school. I'm 100% book smart, with absolutely no common sense. Obviously common sense isn't so "common". I don't think about life situations the way i should. I don't see life the way i should. I think about things in the complete WRONG way. I thought i could get away with something, and i didn't. Now my entire life is on the line. Not my actual living life, but my relationship life. The stuff that really matters to me more than anything in this entire universe. I take my boyfriend and everything he does for me for granted. People who side with me on almost everything say "everyone makes mistakes!" I know everyone makes mistakes, but real people only make them once and learn from them. I don't. I could make a mistake 100 times and it wouldn't change. I always thought i was different from everyone else in high school, but it turns out that i'm more like them than i thought. A recent text message that i received said it all.


"You sit here and tell me you arent like everyone else, but you act just like everyone else. You go behind your boyfriends back just so you get what you want and so everything will go your way. Sorry you decided to fall in love with the guy who isnt like everyone else. Who doesnt drink. Who would enjoy if his girlfriend that he loves would care about him enough to just not drink. Are you just that selfcentered that you dont understand when i say that it hurts me who you drink or do you just not care if you hurt me? What happened to you? the real you? you were nice. you were sweet. you cared. what happened?"

I'm not good with responses when i'm depressed, i hate feeling like the world is on my shoulders. I hate knowing i'm a terrible person. I just pretty much hate me. That text message hurt me. Words aren't suppose to, but when you care about a person and love a person as much as i really do. Words hurt. I was called a bitch, an asshole. Nothing hurts as much as "What happened to you?" It especially cut me like a knife because i thought i was better than i used to be. Turns out i wasn't getting anywhere. God, depression hurts. The reply to that text message was short and sweet. A really stupid reply that means absolutely nothing to anyone, because my words don't count for anything.

"I am nice. I do care. And i am sweet. I am the "real" Lauren. Stop saying that i'm not just because i've never been the person you've always wanted me to be."

If i gave a damned, i wouldn't drink. But i do care. Just because I drink alcohol doesn't mean that i don't care about him. I need help, i don't know what to do anymore.

Holding in our breaths while we touch

"She won't kiss and tell, but this isn't hell
She got that name, it all seems like a game
How she is so well, I won't call this hell
If I had to guess, I'd say
we have a mess you could sell"

Yesterday, i went to Meagan's house for a swim with a bunch of my friends, since it's summer(; It was the first time in a long time that I've actually had some real fun. In fact, i'm going back today, but this time Blake Arceneaux is coming so it should be really interesting.
I finally hung out with my best friend, for the first time since probably the end of March. That's a long time ago. I think of the "things happen, people change" quote when that's brought up. Bryce, Joey, Jessica, and I sat in Meagan's driveway and talked about the most random things until two in the morning. It was a flashback of the older days, before high school screwed up life. I never would have thought high school could split up friendships, until it actually happened. You know how when you think "Oh my god, that would NEVER happen to me!" and you actually believe that it would never happen, until it does. Things that happen like that change people. It could change a person for the better, usually it does, but some people travel down the wrong path. The path that more people tend to follow. I see high school as the "devil" -an extremely great and wicked evil. High school ruins so much for kids, few of them can't even make it out and the ones that do, want to run back. It sets you up for judgment, strong judgment from people who are suppose to be your peers. Backstabbers, liars, sluts, whores, bitches, preps, studs, pimps, punks, emos, scene, jocks, normals, clowns, jokes, assholes, jerks, two-faces, stuck ups, and so on. At my school people would call me: Slut, Bitch, Prep, or Stuck-up. I'm not calling myself that, but people have called me that. You have to deal with rumors, for example, the last one i heard about me. "Lauren's Pregnant." When the rumor was going around, i was a virgin. I was pretty shocked. I remember how excited i was whenever i was going to my first year in high school. I was happy to be in the "big school" and now i can't wait to get out. I'm trapped in a jail based on learning. A jail of hell. Anyways, now i believe that high school changes a lot of different things.

Megan Lattero comes home in four days. I miss you. I know you have a lot going on right now, and i know today's the day :( but i love you so much and i'm always here for you if you need someone, even if you are thousands of miles away for the next few days, you can call me anytime and i don't care if you call me or IM me at three in the morning, you need me, you call me(: You are the strongest person i know and you are one of the best people in this world. You deserve the best. I love youuuu<3

I did another header for my blog. Photoshop, i love you(:

Best friend, for a reason.

Everyone knows we're not the best friends we used to be anymore. Everyone would always tell me they would love to have a relationship with their best friend like us.

I can't tell you the last time we hung out together, and i can't even tell you the last time we had a conversation. I can't even tell you what's been going on in her life, and i'm sure she can't tell you what's going on in mine. I don't call that a "best friend" relationship that i'd want. I don't even think that's how best friends act toward each other. I'm not going to lie to you, i miss having someone there all the time to listen to you complain. I miss having someone there to tell all the stupid stories to, to spill drama to, to gossip with, and everything else that i don't do anymore. I do have my few friends that i hang out with all the time, but not ones that i can sit there for hours and do nothing and not be bored out of my mind. But really, i can tell you that i don't miss being put aside for a boy or having everyone judge me because of my best friend.

Everyone always ask me why we barely talk anymore, or if we even still do. I usually say i don't know anymore. It started when she started seeing Josh and then i forgave her for whatever, then she did it again with Jonathon and i pretty much gave up on it. I don't even try to talk to her anymore, and i don't even try to hang out with her anymore, because i just figured if she really didn't want to lose me as a friend she would try, :)

It's kind of upsetting after like three years, but i'm still a happy little person (:



Oh, and i made a cute little header for my blog today(: I like it! Yay for photoshop skills.

Family for a reason.

I just wanted to say that me and my cousin Megan should have been sisters.
We have a ton of stuff in common and we tend to act alike :)


I'm cleaning today, then taking off before i have to work at the park.

We have a new baby coming into the family too! thank god it's not me :)

You're better than drugs.

"Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
Calm the ache, stop the shakes
You clear my mind
You're my escape
From this messed up place
'Cause you let me forget
You numb my pain"

I love my boyfriend more than life itself.

So, today i was sick. This morning i felt terrible. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die. After a while i felt better and i went visit my long lost friend Kayla. At first Kayla, Alyssa, and I talked for a long time. Then we went all over the world, then back to her house. We have to hang out again.

I want to pierce my lip so bad and soon. If my mom doesn't let me i'm going to be pissed. Maybe i can get Megan to talk her into it, just in case :) Everyone's getting there's and i'm jealous. I'm on the verge of just doing it myself. It'd be easier and besides as long as i can feel the pain, i don't have to worry about it. I'm scared to go and get it done though. Ouch.

MEGAN VICTORIA BOBO LATTERO.
You need to come home soon. I miss you so much and i need to talk to you so bad. Really, you keep saying that I have a lot of people i can talk to, but i don't. At lease, i don't have any friends that i can trust with my heart. Bryce doesn't count either :p I hope you come home within the next two weeks. I definitely need a girl's day! i love you!

I think i'm out for the night, <3

A perfect simple kind of loving

I had a pretty amazing day today. Even though i stayed home, Bryce came over and made me have a great day :)

Yesterday, i went to the cajun heartland state fair with Kristen&Tori and if you haven't been yet, you're definitely not missing out on anything. It was pretty dumb. I have to say that yesterday, i happened to see this girl that i don't get along with twice in a row and it made the day crappy. She makes me think of the past and it makes me unable to get over it. Before we went to the fair, we stopped to put gas in tori's car and me and kristen just had to take a picture of these people we seen. I'm posting it too.



I think i'm getting sick. I feel so terrible. It's summer so i really hope that i'm not getting sick, but my brother and sister have both been sick for like a week now. That's just not good news for me.

I can't wait till Megan comes home. I need a friend to talk to. I feel extremely lost right now, i don't have anyone. I know i can talk to her online, but i'd feel much better if i could talk to her face to face. Well, i guess i better get to sleep. It's close to eleven and i'm very tired. Goodnight.

Yesterday I was out shopping with my mom, nanny Lisa, and my grandmother when my mom got a phone call from my dad. The panic in her voice let me know something was terribly wrong. He was being rushed to the hospital with a sharp pain in his left side that was tingling. I took off and ran to the food court to meet my grandmother leaving my mom behind. It took us less than thirty mintes to get from the mall in Lafayette to dauterive in new Iberia. When we got to the hospital i walked in to the emergency room in the back, I was NOT expecting what I seen. My oh so strong dad, laying in the hospital bed, all hooked up, not speaking and as white as a ghost. I couldn't even stay in the room I ran out of the hospital crying. Me and my grandmother and grandfather sat in the front of the hospital for about two hours before my mom came get me and told them that they could go home. We sat with my dad for two hours before they would let him go. Finally as he sat up to leave he fell back down in pain, this happened about three times. Around five thirty I was ready to go home I had been there for five hours and I was hungry and bored. One of the nurses told my mom that someone was here to visit my dad. We both had no clue who it was because noone had service in the hospital, so no cellphones. I vollunteered to go see who it was and when I walked out, my boyfriend was walking into the emergency room. I was shocked. Happy too. He took me eat mcdonalds and then brought me back to the hospital. He tried to go see my dad but they wouldn't let him. He wanted to stay with me in the front since they weren't letting anyone in the back, but I insisted he go home and I'd be fine. So he did, I tried to get in the back to be with my family and hey declined me, I was pissed. I didn't want to sit in the front with people I don't know. About fifteen minutes pass and finally my mom calls me and tells me that they are admitting my dad into the hospital and that I needed to go home and pack stuff. So I did, I don't think I ever drove so fast in my life. I got back at about eight and stayed in the room. Now today he feels a lot better with little pain. He has kidney stones and it's a really bad case of them. Hopefully will go home today,

it's memorial day weekend. Here's my thanks to all the soldiers out there, and all the ones who died for our country. and Christian lattero, I'm gonna miss you when you leave. Love you lattero family.

I'm a Junior.

Yeah, so my recent picture is the one I've posted below. It's just a random day, and a random picture.

Last night I had a dream about someone I don't even know. I mean, we go to school together and she seems like the nicest person ever, but after this dream i don't know anymore.

It had to do with my boyfriend, Bryce, liking her. Weird, talk about. Anyways, someone told her he did and she acted all bad ass about it. She flirted with him, then he dumped me, then she dumped him and i kicked her ass. To be exact, i threw her off the stadium. Just remember this is a dream. Yeah, now every time I sign on facebook or myspace she shows up. I hate when things like this happen. Now, i'm going to be bothered till I talk about it.

I spent all day with my mom. We went to the doctor, then shopping. Hopefully, I'll go to the mall soon to spend my little one hundred dollars on a shirt or something.

Me and my boyfriend are fine. It's been a while since we actually argued over something. I'm proud(: He's now a senior. Which, i guess, is amazing. I really miss him, even though i spent all day with him yesterday. He's so amazing. Today some guy told me that we are a soul couple. Which hopefully means that we are meant to be together, because then i agree 110% His hair cut is the cutest ever. Even though i love his long hair, his new hair cut is lovable too.

It does not seem like summer at all. Just wanted to point that out there.

Megan comes home again in June(: I can't wait!

OH, and more news. I think I'm making a new friend. I'm glad, i mean, me and her are friends, but now we talk a lot more and stuff. I really need some new friends, since half of mine just graduated and the others changed. I'm really happy now. Truly happy.

Have a good night, <3