Truth be told

There was always this part of me that wanted to make him hurt like he made me hurt. So many chances i've had that i could have easily made that possible. But, i took a step back from my little fantasy world and thought "Why are you even thinking of getting even with him? Don't you love him? You don't hurt the ones you love..." & I realize everytime how i couldn't be more right. I love him so much, that no matter how bad the pain i have to go through because of him is, i could NEVER hurt him intentionally. You see, sometimes you have to put others first over what you want in order to get anywhere in life. As self absorbed as i may seem, i'm honestly not. Not at all. So, i'm stepping back from what i want, which is YOU, Bryce Monteaux, just in case your forgot, and i'm going to attempt to see what you want. I kind of know what you want.. but you've never exactly explained it to me in detail where i could understand it.. and i'm too scared to ask you in case it ruins the little bit of friendship we have left.. ANYWAYS.

I still feel like a little kid when i talk to him, when i look at him, when he looks at me. I still get butterflies, and it's so amazing, i can't help but smile when he's around, no matter how hard i try not too, being around him just makes me happy..