I've been afraid to write my feelings on here only because "he" knows this blog. Clearly, i'd rather him not know how i feel, i rather him not care like he's doing, rather him move on like he's doing. I rather him just not exist. I can't wait till graduation when he's far away. On the bright side, i haven't had the want to text him, talk to him, look at him, and i barely miss him.. As long as he's out of my mind that is... because the second he's back into my mind, it's like he takes over my feelings, my heart, and just throws me for one more loop and BAM, i start to miss him and wonder about him. It's not often though, maybe once every two days will i start to think about him and wonder what he's doing and if he's happy. I'm actually OK. I mean, he has found someone new that makes him happy. & that's what i'm suppose to want for him, even if that person isn't me. Right?
But i'm making progress. I'm starting to live, instead of just floating with the days, i'm starting to smile because i can smile, i'm starting to laugh a lot more, i'm starting to forget about all the pain and i'm starting to move on with my life because life isn't going to wait around for me. Everything is getting easier for me. As much as i wish that this would have never happened between me and him, i'm accepting it and i'm looking forward because i'm sixteen and i have a lot to live for. It's a life lesson i'm suppose to learn from, and i'm learning that no matter what happens, you just have to keep living and keep moving forward.
<3
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